Yeah, non-monogamous relationships involving multiple partners don’t “turn into the OK Corral” at the drop of a hat. Humans aren’t all naturally jealous idiots with no ability to share our affections. You’ve simply been taught that we are.

My best friend and three of my other close friends, for instance, are all in a quad relationship. Two of them are married (have been for a long, long time) and dating the other two. This setup has lasted two years now without incident or any greater effort than your standard one-on-one pairing. It just requires communication and understanding, like any other relationship. I know plenty of other people in non-monogamous relationships of various kinds.

The idea that any sexual jealousy or “infidelity” must be the end of a relationship, or that sexual monogamy is the be-all and end-all of one, is absolutely part of the toxic stew sitcoms helped brew. I’d argue it’s one of the most destructive ideas around in terms of media-driven ideals of love. And it’s utterly wrong to boot.

Ultimately, whatever kind of relationship you’re most comfortable with is probably what’s right for you. It’s worth actually thinking about what might be best, however, as opposed to assuming the standard, heteronormative “one size fits all” monogamous route is automatically the best or only option available. It isn’t.

Plus, it’s rather bad form to dismiss other people’s relationship styles out of hand simply because they’re new to you.